Stomping my feet with my hands on my hips....

And saying, no yelling, 

"IT'S NOT FAIR!"

And quite frankly, I don't care if I sound like a 5 year old right now. 

(and I'm sure that my serious lack of sleep is playing a part of me just not caring what I sound like right now!)

Dylan has his appointment this morning with Dr. T. (child psych).  I went into it feeling really good and hopeful that MAYBE we wouldn't have to keep going monthly since things have been going so great.  The Risperidone that we started Dylan on a couple of months ago has been working GREAT and we've been so excited and very relieved to see the positive changes happening.  He's been handling situations with ease that before would have been a challenge.  He handled staying 4 nights with my parent while we are at Mayo Clinic with Kira and did fabulous.

The downfall of the medicine is that it makes me hungry......all.the.time.  I felt like we were doing a pretty good job of offering healthy options....lots of veggies.  We made a lot of changes and I was really feeling like we were handling it well.

Today we got there, he weighed Dylan and as we were talking he was looking at his growth curve and then it happened.....he moved his computer over by me and I knew what was coming or at least I thought I did.  I was NOT expecting to see a 10 pound weight gain in 2 months. (this is where I was working hard to keep the tears from falling because I KNEW what was coming).  Yep, we have to stop the Risperidone.  Dr. T. knew I was fighting tears and apologized but I knew where he was coming from and I agree that it's too much of a weight gain but IT'S NOT FAIR.

We talked about our options and agreed that we didn't want to wean off one medication before starting another because we know how D is with no meds at all. We have a plan that will hopefully work well.  

It's frustrating for me but even looking past how I am feeling, I want to do everything I can to make sure that Dylan continues to feel good about himself and all the great things that are happening with him right now.  I am hoping that he will breeze through this change with little problem.  I want him to continue to have all the successes that he has been.  Dr. T stressed that it could be tricky to find another med that will be AS effective as the Risperidone was but he's committed to do everything he can to make the best choices possible for D.

So that's where we are at.....I'm trying hard to not stomp my feet with my hands on my hips and yell "it's not fair" but it's hard today.  Really, really hard.........